Zombie Apocalypse: Things I would miss

There are many “luxuries” in life that are taken for granted on a daily basis, but in the event of a zombie apocalypse (I’m just sayin’…) there are certain things that I would especially miss. You know, other than relative peace and calm and safety and not having to splatter brains all day long.

  1. Music. Without electricity, I can’t listen to music. This is why I married a musician–as long as he’s alive and with me and has a guitar, we’re golden.
  2. Sleep. Oh, my precious, precious sleep. Hours and hours of sleep. How can a person be expected to sleep during a zombie apocalypse? Nothing but nightmares.
  3. Medicine. Way-back-when, if a person had a fever, they would die. Nowadays we have Tylenol. How much would it suck to die of a fever when there’s a perfectly good zombie apocalypse going on?
  4. Shoes. Shoes wear out, become soiled, tear and split, and during a zombie apocalypse it’s not often that you’re strolling through the mall.
  5. Bananas and citrus fruits. I live in Iowa–do we even grow fruit here? Maybe some strawberries, an apple tree or something, and a shit-ton of berries (but I don’t think they count).
  6. Toilet paper. Enough said.

This is all assuming that I do indeed survive long enough to get past the “OH SHIT” part of the zombie apocalypse and have time to gather my thoughts, mourn the loss of my family and friends, come to terms with the reality of the situation, figure out a plan to avoid dying, and THEN reminisce about the amenities of the “good times”.

I have a 67% chance of surviving a zombie apocalypse

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