Metamorphosis is gross.

Live Butterfly Garden… sounds great, right? How can you go wrong? Caterpillars are really neat, and butterflies are really neat; I love gardens, and I certainly do like things that are living. Its the part that occurs in between existence as a caterpillar and existence as a butterfly that is not-quite-so-neat.

It’s actually pretty gross.

Don’t get me wrong, metamorphosis is a fascinating and amazing natural process. However, this fascinating-and-amazing-natural-process normally occurs outdoors for a reason — because the aftermath is like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, at 1:64 scale (and, you know… with slightly more butterflies).

[insert Psycho shower-scene theme slasher-music here]

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It starts off with the caterpillars’ backsides being amputated when they form their own chrysalis. Then when they emerge, they expel “meconium”, which is the bloody-looking substance all over — which looks bloody because it is basically unneeded tissue leftover from the metamorphosis.

Then you might get the one butterfly that has some kind of major malfunction during emergence, and is not dead but is crippled beyond repair, having torn most of his own wing off. Plus the two chrysalids on the bottom that fell off the cotton disc, and probably will not amount to anything, but still creepily squirm around.

NEVER. AGAIN.

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